The Politics of Penetration (Verse 2)

This is primarily a discussion between me and dictionary.com, more precisely, a discussion between me and the multiple entries listed under the word “penetration.”

1. To pierce or pass through. The most basic definition there is. As it is related to this article, penetrating someone’s rectum means to pierce it with something, usually a penis. However, in a wider definition, we should also understand it to include a finger, a dildo, or maybe even a tongue—but I don’t think tongues are hard enough to actually pierce your rectum. If you know someone that has such a tongue, please let me know; I’d like to shake his/her hand.
2. To enter and diffuse itself through; permeate. Here is where things start to get interesting and where we start to get uncomfortable with anal sex. It’s as if in the act of penetration, one leaves his/her stamp. If those who penetrate our anus “permeate” us then that leaves us, the penetrated, permanently marked, conspicuously saturated by someone else’s power. And that idea is certainly more uncomfortable than even the biggest, most oddly shaped phallus in my butt.
3. To arrive at the truth or meaning of; understand; comprehend. What can be understood about me when I allow someone to penetrate me? And when I like it? Of course, it can be understood that I am an open-minded person that sees every orifice as a potential invitation to pleasure. But more deeply, perhaps, when you penetrate me, you come to understand that I trust you as much as I trust myself because I wouldn’t let just anyone slip into the dark passages of my body. When we know something, we have power over it. Maybe I’m scared of being understood. Nah, I’m scared of being misunderstood. There are many opportunities for confusion during sex. Like, the only true moment of clarity there is during sex is post-orgasm. Anytime before that we are wrapped up in getting to that moment. How many times have I cum only to realize that I shouldn’t be fucking the person underneath me in the first place? How many times have I wanted to scream “I FUCKING LOVE YOU” when having sex only to then be so grateful that I didn’t after I felt that "shudder in the loins.” I can’t remember half of the random shit I scream during sex. And if someone only knows the “me” in bed, then the potential for a long list of really awkward misunderstandings is great. Nah boo, I didn’t say, “I love you,” I said, “I luck you.” Like I’m lucky to be fucking such an awesome guy. He he haaa..Have you seen my panties?
4. To obtain a share of (a market). To be penetrated is to be taken. In the worst sense, to be claimed. That’s shitty. Have you ever had sex with someone, only to realize a couple of days (hours) later that everyone knows what you did? Of course you have. Everyone has. And although you’d like to feel as if it doesn’t matter that everyone knows, it totally matters. It totally matters that everyone thinks they know what your vagina looks like, tastes like, feels like, and smells like. It totally matters that now everyone knows you start singing songs from The Little Mermaid when you fall off the cliff of orgasm. It totally does. Even the most liberated among us want a little discretion when it comes to sex, especially anal sex. But now that person with whom we have done it, has a piece of us and they can do with that piece whatever they want. And you know what? I’m not whole enough to just being giving my shit away and not care about what happens to it. So it’s scary okay? So be careful with it. Cuz if you’re careful with it, I might even let you have it again. And again.
5. To affect or impress (the mind or feelings) deeply. OMG. It is rare, so RARE to have sex with someone and forget about him or her like that (insert snap of the fingers here). Even if it was bad. Especially if it was bad. Take Becky for instance (remember her?), she wanted to forget about smearing her poop all over this dude’s dick but she just couldn’t. Because, as I explained above, this dude took a piece of her upon piercing her, a sloppy, shit-stained piece, but a piece nonetheless. It may be hard for me to recall every person I have fucked. Please don’t ask me to make a list, I’ll just wind up feeling bad about myself and fucking someone random out of self-pity, not because I have had sex with so many dudes that I can’t remember (uh…right) but that my memory is so bad and that means one of two things (or both): I’m either getting old or I have done permanent damage to some really important part of my brain from so much weed-smoking. But names aren’t important (right?) not as important as feelings and faces. Maybe I don’t want to remember the way the muscles in someone’s face slack when they first feel the inside of my excited vagina or my expectant anus. Maybe once I take that piece of them, I’ll feel too heavy and, as you can imagine, I got my own shit to carry; I certainly don’t need the weight of the memory of someone who may or may not have been good in bed. Humph. Certainly not.
   

How do I wrap this section up, now? By musing on power. Penetration is certainly an act of domination. I don’t need to remind you that it’s not always a peaceful/sexy kind of domination either. Think of all the violent words we use to describe the act of penetration: stab, cut, tear it up, beat it up, hit it, nail, pound, gut, etc etc. I’m definitely guilty of using these terms both in and out of the bed. Don’t misunderstand me; I don’t think these words or penetration are inherently violent (duh). Nor do I think that violent sex is necessarily a bad thing, as long as the people participating in it are 100% down with it and there is a very clear way to express when one is no longer down with it. But I do think it’s important to recognize the power inherent in penetration. That way, at least we can play with it as we play with our partners and ourselves. Think of anal sex as one big play date supervised by our favorite baby-sitter Foucault. Foucault, that baby-sitter who always invites someone over once he’s put you to bed and you get to watch them do it from the crack in the door. That post-structuralist motherfucker who loves flipping shit inside out. Put this shit in your pipe and smoke it:

The medical examination, the psychiatric investigation, the pedagogical report, the family controls may have the over-all and apparent objective of saying no to all wayward sexualities, but the fact is that they function as mechanisms with a double impetus: pleasure and power [oh God, yes]. The pleasure that comes of exercising a power that questions, monitors, watches, spies, searches out, palpates, brings to light; and on the other hand, the pleasure that kindles [mmmm] at having to evade this power, flee from it, fool it, or travesty it. The power that lets itself be invaded [penetrated?] by the pleasure it is pursuing; and opposite it, power asserting it in the pleasure of showing off, scandalizing, or resisting. Capture and seduction [oh!], confrontation and mutual reinforcement…These attractions, these evasions, these circular incitements [oh shit oh shit…I…] have traced around bodies and sexes, not boundaries not to be crossed, but perpetual spirals of power and pleasure [qué ricoooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaahh].

Gracias, y buenas noches.

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So, because I wrote so much about penetration, I have decided to leave Verse 2 as is and make Verse 3 about the stupid homophobes and gender conformists. Verse 4 is the Ten Point Program For More Liberating Sex. So...keep your eyes peeled!